Just Another JET Blog

OK, better unload some more Jasper stories while I’m still in Canada… because very soon it will be all about Japan!

Umm… lets see.  On the way back Matt and I sat beside a very strange man… with very strange theories.  He believed that American forces were responsible for alien abductions.  His theory is that since anyone in charge of a government wouldn’t want to tell other people that he was abducted (since that would make them look crazy), the American could abduct people from the Kremlin without anyone hearing about it.  The Yanks would abduct the guy, LSD him, question him, and probe him…. then drop him right back off….    all while wearing alien suits.   He had another theory that all the world’s garbage should be loaded up on a rocket and then driven into the atmosphere, where it would burn up.  I asked him, “wouldn’t that still leave all the greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, the same as when we burn garbage here on the planet?” and he responded that these gases wouldn’t be a problem.  Also, he assured me that sometime in the future he was going to  convince people to burn garbage this way, and when I hear about it on the news I’m suppose to remember that it was his idea.  I promised him I’d never forget it!

A dude we went white-water rafting with (his name was Chris), told Matt and I  a story about how his dad used to run beer into Canada from the States (because its cheaper in the states).  One time, this guy and his friends loaded up the trunk with kegs of beer, but couldn’t fit in one last keg… so they put it under the hood of the car.  It was only a short drive to the border, so they saw no problem with it.  They got to the border and found a huge line-up of cars…. so they waited and waited and eventually it was their turn.  Amazingly, the border guard waved them through!   They drove about a kilometer from the border and then suddenly the keg under the hood exploded!  There was beer EVERYWHERE!

Oh, during the night on the train-ride to Jasper I couldn’t sleep, so I moved to the observation deck to try and get a little shut-eye…  I actually managed to somewhat drift off when suddenly I hear a thousand explosions above me!  It was hailing golf-ball sized hail on the glass above my head!  I found out later from some of the crew that another train had its windshield broken from the same storm… only their hail was baseball sized!

Hmm… oh.  If ever you go to Jasper, find out where industry night is!  Matt and I found out that all the people who work in Jasper have specific nights of the week that they go to certain bars.  Our shuttle driver was from sourthern Manitoba and told us the secret location for Sunday nights and we showed up (after doing a pub crawl!).  Turns out that Jasper really likes their transvestites…. which is fine, you know, to each their own, but one of them stared me down!

Also, I think we were in Jasper for about half and hour before someone recognized me.  Matt and I were walking from the lodge to our room and this guy yells at us (from behind!) “you guys from Winkler!?”.  Turns out he was from Portage, and played for PCI, and recognized me from back when he used to play against me in Basketball and Volleyball.  Small country.  It would’ve been weird, but he did recommend that we check out Jasper Brewery, which was awesome!  They brew their own beer there… including an amazing pilsner called “B-hill” (i think…).  Also, they make a fantastic stout (although the name of it escapes me).  There was also a raspberry ale, a cream ale, a blonde ale and the most flowery tasting Indian Pale Ale I’ve ever had.  They have this great deal where you can try all 6 in 6 ounce glasses!  Definately a highlight of the Jasper trip!  The only thing better was when we went White Water Rafting.

Alright, that about wraps up all the stories I can think of right now!

OK!  This is just a test to see if I can get my blog connection working on Facebook…

 I may as well write one of my Jasper stories eh?

While on the train ride to Jasper, Matt and I sat next to the area where the employees hung out…. I highly recommend this to anyone who goes on a train!  We got to hear the staff tell each other work stories… and this one is by far the greatest that I heard:

 A lady went on vacation with her dog, and this poor dog dies while they’re on vacation.  Now VIA rail has a policy of not allowing dead animals to be shipped on their trains… so this lady just put a blanket over the dog and told the employee at the baggag check that the dog was sleeping in its cage.  The employee buys the story and allows the dog to be put on the cargo car of the train.

Now, during the night another employee is checking on the cargo and gets cold, so he turns up the heat in the car.  He cranks it up so that it will quickly get warm while he’s checking the cargo… but gets called away on his walkie to check on another problem.  He accidentally leaves the heat turned on.  

Now, it takes a few hours before he gets back to the car and realizes that he left the heat on.  He turns it down and continues checking the cargo… only to find a dead dog in a cage!  He assumes that he killed it with the heat… so he opens up the baggage car door and throws the dead dog off the train!

Now, apparently it happens quite often that just before a train comes to a stop the baggage cars get open, and dogs often do manage to jump off the train at this point… so he thinks he has a believable story on his hands.   When the lady reaches her destination the employee approaches her with the manager of the train close behind, and the employee tells her that the dog jumped off the train at one of the stops.  The lady is at first stunned, and then she asks the employee, “that’s your story?  That’s what you’re gonna stick with?”

He tells her, “ma’am that’s what happened.”

She replies, “my dead dog jumped off the train?”

Of course, the jig is up at this point and both of them are now caught in their lies…. and it becomes a legendary story for VIA rail employees!